Life gets busy, and it’s easy to assume your spouse just knows you appreciate them. But here’s the truth—love and respect aren’t just automatic. They have to be nurtured, built, and spoken into existence. One of the simplest (and most underrated) ways to strengthen your marriage? Saying thank you and showing appreciation.

Why Appreciation Matters (According to Science!)

Dr. John Gottman, a leading marriage researcher, found that the happiest couples have at least five positive interactions for every one negative one—what he calls the magic ratio of 5:1. That means for every eye roll or frustrating moment, there should be five acts of kindness, appreciation, or love to keep the relationship strong.

Couples who regularly express gratitude tend to be happier, more connected, and better at handling tough moments. On the flip side, when appreciation is missing, it’s easier for negativity, resentment, and distance to creep in.

What the Bible Says About Our Words

Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” That means our words either build up or tear down. There’s no neutral!

Ephesians 4:29 reminds us, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.” If we aren’t saying appreciation out loud, we’re not really creating it. And let’s be real—who doesn’t want to feel seen and valued in their marriage?

A Quick Challenge for Today

Take 30 seconds right now and send your spouse a text. Seriously, just do it!

“Hey, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. You do so much for our family, and I don’t say it enough.”
“I love how you always find a way to make me smile, even on the hard days. You are such a gift.”
“Thank you for everything you do—I see you, and I’m so grateful for you.”

That’s it! No grand gestures, no big speeches—just small, consistent reminders that say, I see you, I appreciate you, and I’m grateful for you.

Make It a Habit

Try making appreciation a daily thing. A quick compliment, a thank-you note, or just telling your spouse why you love them—it all adds up. Over time, those little moments create a stronger, more connected marriage.

So, what are you waiting for? Go send that text. 😉

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